I promised her an upgrade, which is like AI flowers I guess...
[ There is the barest ghost of a laugh at that as Tony sags against the door a little bit. Yeah, flowers. God, he couldn't even get the things he created to like him, how the fuck did he expect other people to put up with him? The fact of the matter was that he didn't. Clearly FRIDAY just wanted to torment him which is why she had locked him out of his own elevator on the one floor in the whole Tower that he had zero desire to be on.
Actually, it wasn't that he had zero desire to be here, it was more-- he was kind of terrified. There was only so much that he could handle, so much backlash from his reckless decisions and ahead of the curve thought processes before he just splintered apart. Seeing Steve here... it was like a physical blow for Tony. One that resonated in his chest and made his teeth ache. Tony wants, he wants to talk to Steve, wants to make things between them better, wants to say he's sorry, he didn't mean it, why did you chose him? There is just... there is too much that Tony wants, and he is being fucking greedy about it. Knows that he should just be happy that Steve agreed to come back, to take up residence here because, while the other option was some where chosen by the government, Tony was sure it would be better for Steve than this.
But he is here, just out of Tony's reach and he just--
Tony doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know how to fix this, doesn't know if it is even fixable at this point. Doesn't know if Steve wants it fixed and--
There is a quiet noise trapped in the back of Tony's throat, something quiet and broken and terrified. ]
I didn't mean to-- I mean, I don't want to just--
[ He turns from the door, forehead still pressed to the smooth metal as he looks at Steve. Really looks. At the tense shoulders and the darkness in his eyes. He looks... he looks tired; tired and weighed down and fuck fuck fuck, Tony is the reason he looks so broken. Even after all this time, all the fights and words and bruises, Tony never wants to be responsible for that look. It makes something in him crack, between the alcohol and lack of sleep, Tony just can't.]
Steve... I'm so sorry.
[ The words are soft and shaky, barely there between them. ]
no subject
[ There is the barest ghost of a laugh at that as Tony sags against the door a little bit. Yeah, flowers. God, he couldn't even get the things he created to like him, how the fuck did he expect other people to put up with him? The fact of the matter was that he didn't. Clearly FRIDAY just wanted to torment him which is why she had locked him out of his own elevator on the one floor in the whole Tower that he had zero desire to be on.
Actually, it wasn't that he had zero desire to be here, it was more-- he was kind of terrified. There was only so much that he could handle, so much backlash from his reckless decisions and ahead of the curve thought processes before he just splintered apart. Seeing Steve here... it was like a physical blow for Tony. One that resonated in his chest and made his teeth ache. Tony wants, he wants to talk to Steve, wants to make things between them better, wants to say he's sorry, he didn't mean it, why did you chose him? There is just... there is too much that Tony wants, and he is being fucking greedy about it. Knows that he should just be happy that Steve agreed to come back, to take up residence here because, while the other option was some where chosen by the government, Tony was sure it would be better for Steve than this.
But he is here, just out of Tony's reach and he just--
Tony doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know how to fix this, doesn't know if it is even fixable at this point. Doesn't know if Steve wants it fixed and--
There is a quiet noise trapped in the back of Tony's throat, something quiet and broken and terrified. ]
I didn't mean to-- I mean, I don't want to just--
[ He turns from the door, forehead still pressed to the smooth metal as he looks at Steve. Really looks. At the tense shoulders and the darkness in his eyes. He looks... he looks tired; tired and weighed down and fuck fuck fuck, Tony is the reason he looks so broken. Even after all this time, all the fights and words and bruises, Tony never wants to be responsible for that look. It makes something in him crack, between the alcohol and lack of sleep, Tony just can't.]
Steve... I'm so sorry.
[ The words are soft and shaky, barely there between them. ]