And if it's not pity, then what the fuck is it, huh? Because it sure as fuck isn't honest caring now is it?
[ At this point, Tony doesn't care (or maybe he cares too much, maybe this is too much like before, when Steve was around and was a fixture in Tony's life and Tony thought that maybe he could rely on the blond only for it all to go to hell around them). He is shaking, the anger and fear and nights of no sleep and too much alcohol coursing through him and he just wants for this to stop already.
When Steve speaks, Tony can't help the self depreciating laugh that spills from his throat; something tired and hurt and just a little bit sharp. It has Tony bleeding out between them, honesty in his words that he never would have shared otherwise.]
You think I am fucking hurt when you bring up Pepper? When you talk about things I have fucked up? It doesn't hurt, Steve, I knew what I was doing when we broke up. Yeah, it wasn't easy for a while , but we discussed it. What fucking hurts, what is going to set off a fucking mine, is you pretending you care. I fucking-- fuck, you were one of three people in my life that I thought I could count on, Rogers. One of three. That number is down to one and he can't fucking walk now because of the shit you pulled. You ripped me into pieces when you left me in Siberia. [ Tony makes a choked noise, anger giving way just a little, but he refuses to cry, keeps the tears at bay.]
I can't fucking talk to you without wanting to scream and-- fuck! [ He spins around, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes as he tries to calm down.] ... I saw you dead, you know that? That was-- when Wanda showed us our fears. Mine-- you were dead Steve, and it was my fault.
no subject
[ At this point, Tony doesn't care (or maybe he cares too much, maybe this is too much like before, when Steve was around and was a fixture in Tony's life and Tony thought that maybe he could rely on the blond only for it all to go to hell around them). He is shaking, the anger and fear and nights of no sleep and too much alcohol coursing through him and he just wants for this to stop already.
When Steve speaks, Tony can't help the self depreciating laugh that spills from his throat; something tired and hurt and just a little bit sharp. It has Tony bleeding out between them, honesty in his words that he never would have shared otherwise.]
You think I am fucking hurt when you bring up Pepper? When you talk about things I have fucked up? It doesn't hurt, Steve, I knew what I was doing when we broke up. Yeah, it wasn't easy for a while , but we discussed it. What fucking hurts, what is going to set off a fucking mine, is you pretending you care. I fucking-- fuck, you were one of three people in my life that I thought I could count on, Rogers. One of three. That number is down to one and he can't fucking walk now because of the shit you pulled. You ripped me into pieces when you left me in Siberia. [ Tony makes a choked noise, anger giving way just a little, but he refuses to cry, keeps the tears at bay.]
I can't fucking talk to you without wanting to scream and-- fuck! [ He spins around, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes as he tries to calm down.] ... I saw you dead, you know that? That was-- when Wanda showed us our fears. Mine-- you were dead Steve, and it was my fault.