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[ It was supposed to be a simple mission - that was why Steve had gone by himself. Some guy, doing who knows what with plants in an abandoned warehouse, and what kind of guy got his ass kicked by plants?

Steve Rogers, that's who.

He'd put an end to plant guy (who had apparently genetically engineered himself into a half-plant, half-human) and his weird ambulatory plant friends. In the process, he'd disturbed a bunch of hanging flowers that had covered him in pollen, and he hadn't thought anything of it, being immune to basically everything. Also, the plants had been trying to take actual bites out of him at the time.

A couple hours later, most of the bruises and scrapes are healed, Steve's showered all the sap and pollen and who knows what green stuff off and is hoping that there isn't any footage of giant vines kicking his ass being uploaded to Youtube. And then he starts feeling...weird. A little feverish, maybe, and he hasn't had a fever in decades. He shrugs it off and goes to work out.

Except halfway through working out, he feels arousal curl around his bones, the kind he can't ignore. He finds the nearest bathroom and leans his forehead against the cool tile, hands tugging his pants down and wrapping around his cock and pulling until he has the most intense orgasm of his life. There's a mess everywhere - Steve cleans that up - and he's still goddamn hard, as if he hadn't come at all.

Christ. He takes a long, cold shower, jerks off again in the process, and that doesn't resolve a damn thing. There's definitely something wrong with him, and that means he probably needs science to fix it. Which means facing Tony, and while they've made an uneasy sort of peace since Siberia, that doesn't mean he really wants to look at him and tell him that he has an erection that won't go down.

He gives it another fifteen minutes, and his dick is hard enough to hammer nails. He finds a hoodie to wrap around his sweatpants, because there's absolutely no way of hiding it, and makes his way down to Tony's lab. ]

Hey, Tony? You busy?

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[ To say that Tony is surprised by Steve's voice in his lab, at this hour, is something of an understatement. Actually, hearing anyone's voice at this hour in his lab was a little bit surprising, because usually it was a well known fact that from after dinner until at least four am, the lab was a mad scientist zone.

Or that Tony was likely to be making something ridiculously volatile and he should probably be stopped but no one really knew how to stop him since Pepper left and--

Whatever, point was, it was sometime after midnight and Steve was in his lab sounding... strained and that was never good.

Tony blinks down at the engine he was putting back together (busy work, something to occupy his hand and his mind and keep the goddamned nightmares away) and shakes his head before turning on the stool a little to look at Steve. Steve who looked-- well, ridiculous quite frankly. But there were still lines in the sand that Tony didn't know how to cross, scars and wounds from the shit that was the Accords that they didn't quite know how to deal with, so he swallows down the sarcastic remark as best he can, and:]

What's up, Cap? You know this is the witching hour, all I am busy with right now is making this Audi go far faster than is street legal.

I- uh. I need you to run some tests on me.

[ He shifts his weight from foot to foot nervously, keeping his arms folded over his chest. There's no good way to bring this up, nothing that won't end with Tony making fun of him for at least the next decade. ]

I'm just feeling a little funny after those plant shenanigans earlier, so. Yeah. Tests.

[ He tries not to stare at Tony, with his mussed hair, grease stains on his hands and ripped jeans that are too goddamn tight. Tries not to think about Tony swallowing his cock down right here, about bending him over the workbench and fucking him, and god, something that's almost like a whimper catches in his throat because his cock aches. ]

[ At first, Tony is pretty sure Steve is just nervous about being in the lab. Or being around Tony. Or maybe both, and that might sting a little bit, but it's nothing that he can't handle. He huffs a little, running a hand through his hair and trying to steel himself for the awkward conversation that was bound to follow.

Of course, then Steve says that and Tony is worried.]

Tests? Are you okay?

[ Obviously not, genius. He is down here. Asking for your help.

Either way, it gets Tony up, has him crossing the lab to Steve, concern on his face that only grows at the noise.

The genius lets his hands hover just shy of Steve's arms, he can feel the heat coming off of him. Well shit.]

Steve, can you... uh, sit down for me? Because if you pass out, there is no way that I am going to be able to haul you to a comfortable spot okay.

[ There's a moment where Steve's afraid that Tony's going to touch him and he won't be able to control himself - that just the feeling of hands on his skin will make him come in his pants, and if that isn't the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen, then Steve doesn't know what is. He has to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment, and his nails dig into his biceps. He lets out a slow, shuddering breath, opens his eyes. ]

Sit down? Yeah, I can do that.

[ He thinks. Although it takes real effort to step away from Tony and gingerly sit down on his stool, hastily trying to rearrange his clothes so nothing shows. ]

[ Yeah, this-- Tony is worried now. This is weird and not at all like Steve, and why the fuck did he come to him and not go to someone who is good with, you know, people?

Blinking a few times, Tony watches as Steve tries to pull himself together, still completely unawares as to why. He doesn't get what the hell is going on here, just knows that Steve did have a less than powerful run of the mill villain to fight earlier. With plants. And now--

Wait.]

Wait, are you having like an allergic reaction or something? I thought you couldn't have those anymore!

[ Yeah, don't mind him totally crowding you now, because he thinks you are about to swell up and die and, nope, not allowed at all. Tony presses his hand to Steve's forehead and tips his head back, trying to look him in the eye. (What, he deals with robots, not people, fight him.]

Are you having trouble breathing? Wait, no, rashes? Fuck, Steve, you should have found someone who was a doctor for people, not-- [ worried exhale. ]

[ Steve's eyes are wide and dark, and he has a little trouble focusing his gaze - even though Tony's hand is just on his forehead, the touch makes him shiver, shoots straight down his spine to his erection. Shit, shit, shit, he reaches up and gently pries Tony's hand away, resists the urge to put it on the bulge in his pants instead. ]

You've got equipment that's better at diagnosing things than most doctors for people, don't you? [ He sounds a little testy now. If he'd thought Tony was going to freak out about this, he would have just stayed in his room and...

Okay, he doesn't know what he would have done. But he's not going to go see a normal doctor about this, either. ]

[ Yeah see, that? That can also be the sign of fever. And like certain doom in Tony's books because, you know he isn't that kind of doctor. So what if his machines can deal with--

Wait. Right. FRIDAY can totally fix this.

Or at least make sure that Steve doesn't die in the next five minutes.

Tony runs to the far desk and fumbles around in the drawers for a moment.]

Yeah, but I use them for robotics, fuck. You are lucky I am a goddamned genius, you idiot. C'mere...

[ With a small cry of triumph, Tony is back, grabbing Steve's hand without preamble, just to jab him with the small blood sample reader he modified. It has a direct link to FRIDAY.]

Ha, FRIDAY, please analyze that for anything out of the ordinary, also, full scans of Captain Rogers here, make sure his lungs aren't about to close up on us, okay darling?

You got it, Boss.

I can breathe fine.

[ But now he's distracted by Tony's hand, and he slowly drags his thumb over the palm, feeling the calluses and lines. His fingers brush over his knuckles, and-

No. No, he's not doing this. He drops Tony's hand like a hot potato, uses the wheels on the stool to push himself away with his feet. Maybe he should've stuck his dick in an ice bucket or something. ]

Then what the hell--

[ Tony falters a little, the touch Steve focuses on his hand strange and intimate and-- what the fuck is going on. Tony blinks, rapidly, trying to assimilate the information because he is pretty damn sure that Steve just caressed his fucking hand and-- well Tony wasn't mad.

Just confused.

And now Steve was pushing away from him like Tony was the one with some weird contagious disease and--]

Alright then, Rogers, then what the hell is the problem?

Boss, if I might. It seems like there is a foreign substance in Captain Roger's blood sample that is probably thanks to his last mission. It is a completely biological substance and one that has a rather potent, if not delayed effect, on his libido. The blood sample reports coincide with the rush endorphins in his system, along with high levels of testosterone, as well as the prolonged erection that he has.

[ And that? That makes Tony pause. Because... what.

No really.

W h a t.]

Thanks, FRIDAY, you're a pal.

[ It's said through gritted teeth, and Steve's pointedly looking down and away from Tony as a blush creeps over him and suffuses his skin and- he's a little surprised there's enough blood left in his body that isn't in his cock, honestly, because that's what it feels like, but the blush spreads hot and red over his fair skin.

He's just going to crawl into a corner and die now. ]

[ Tony would really like to be able to say that he was able to process this information, really he would.

But his brain kind of stopped working at it's best when FRIDAY said potent effect on libido because-- no. This was some kind of cruel joke and why the fuck would Steve come to him? Why not some nameless person who was paid for their silence? Why would he come down here when Tony was surprised that the other could barely handle looking at him?

So yeah, maybe Tony is just blinking a little at Steve, a look on his face that does not look like he is about to laugh at all.
More like implode a little.

Because, yeah, playboy, but, uh, Steve Rogers. With one hell of an issue.

Hello, this is something out of fucking fantasy, isn't it.

Someone is playing a joke.]

You're fucking with me.

[ That is the only possibility. Steve found out about his crush and now was being-- not like Steve at all.]

[ Part of Steve is hoping for some genius way of solving the problem with science, and Tony is the most science-y guy he knows, so why wouldn't he come to him? But the other part, the part that's just thinking about sex, wants Tony's hands on him, wants Tony to be the one getting him off again and again and again. ]

Why would I do that?

[ His voice is strained and frustrated and god he needs to get off again. He very carefully keeps his hands away from the lower half of his body. ]

[ Look, he can come up with lots of different ways to solve this problem, okay. None of them are scientific, and all of them are things he has thought about before.

All of them also rely on him not thinking that Steve is trying to mock him in some way because-- because that is honestly the only thing that he can think makes sense right now. Tony is-- Tony is fucking flustered and a little furious because-- what the fuck.

Honestly. What. The. Fuck.]

I don't know! Because you-- you want to see me struggle with inner conflicts? You want to taunt me? Someone made some comment about my fucking infatuation and you thought you would come down here and see how far you could push? Fuck Rogers, I don't know!

[ Yeah, Tony knows none of that sounds like Steve at all but-- after the fiasco of the last while Tony really had no idea what to expect okay. He hasn't been trained for these kinds of situations, fuck.

Tony scrubs at his face, tries not to look at Steve despite how fucking strained he sounded and--]

Why would you come here? Honestly, Steve. I'm-- I'm a glorified mchanic!

Because you're a goddamn genius scientist! Because you're one of the few people I trust, even though I know you're going to give me shit about this for god knows how long. Because I already jerked off twice and it's not getting any better and Christ, Tony, you don't know what this feels like.

[ He buries his hands in his face. Maybe he should just go back upstairs and wait for this to resolve itself, however long that takes. If it even happens, because he's a little scared that something's broken and he's going to have to live the rest of his life with a goddamn huge hard-on. ]

When it comes to machines! Fuck did you even--

[ Nope. N O P E. He has not had enough alcohol to deal with this shit today. Wow. This is not--]

Boss, Captain Rogers. If I might. Boss, there are substances in Captain Roger's blood, therefore it is safe to assume that he is not, as you so put, fucking with you. However, may I suggest letting him? It might ease the tension between you both as well as the Captain's issue.

[.... did his AI just throw him under the bus.

Well, and Rogers for that matter.

Tony stops, mouth open with some other comment on his lips about Steve jerking him around, but he snaps it shut.]

FRIDAY, I am donating you to fucking Siberia.

...

[ Steve just lifts his head up and stares for a moment. ]

How- Tony, why is your AI telling us to have sex? Why does she even- no, wait, don't answer that. Why would she? This is just completely unreal.

[ And now he's burying his head in his hands again. PLEASE CAN HE JUST DIE ALREADY? ]

[ There is a pained noise from Tony as he turns a little and all but slams his head off the table. He cannot-- well actually no, he can believe FRIDAY. She was his AI after all and, he had spent the better part of her existence listening to him bitch about Steve in some form or another, she had her own personality and--

Yeah, Tony really should have seen this coming.]

Because she is my AI, of course, and she isn' nearly as polite as her older brother and, FRIDAY, fucking--

You're welcome, Boss.

[ You can hear the smug grin in her words. Why did Tony create these intelligences again?]

I'm ... sorry? Like, it probably has to do with-- uh. Stuff. And things. I just-- Fuck. Look, Rogers, it's not-- I would help you honest to god I would, but I am not that kind of doctor and, really? Having sex, and a lot of it? Probably how I would handle that, uh, issue.

So, uh. If we go up to the penthouse, can we just. Politely ask her to turn herself off for a bit?

[ This is probably at the top of Steve's list of poor life choices, but he can't think of anything else to do right now, and he just doesn't want a smug computer watching him lose his virginity. Or offering commentary. ]

[ That-- that actually makes Tony stop and stare for a moment at Steve. Because-- what? Steve isn't-- he's not--

Tony opens his mouth and snaps it shut at least twice before he manage words.]

Are you-- are you asking me to sleep with you Steve?

[ Because this is-- this is not how Tony thought it would go. Actually, Tony never thought it would happen, but--]

I mean, FRIDAY has privacy measures put in place but like-- Steve. Fuck. I don't-- I don't want to you only d this because of a shitty plant.

Tony.

[ Steve closes his eyes and exhales slowly through his nose. ]

I swear to god, if you don't make me come in the time it takes to get to the penthouse in the elevator, I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.

[ ...he'll address the rest of the issue later. ]

What, that--

[ Wait a second.

WAIT.

DID YOU.

brb Tony's brain is blue screening because you did not just--

Yeah, there is still enough coherency to Steve, enough of a command in those words that Tony can't really help the way he all but lurches towards the blond, hands curling around Steve's hips without a thought.]

Long as you don't kill me in the morning, I think I can do that.

[ See the smile flickering on his face (ignore the flicker of worry)? It's him knowing he can do what you ask. Easily.]

[ This isn't how Steve imagined losing his virginity - although, to be fair, he's definitely imagined it being with Tony more than once - but as soon as Tony's hands land on his hips, he's utterly gone, even through layers of clothes. ]

Shhhhit.

[ That's all he manages to say before he grabs Tony's face and pulls him in for a hungry kiss, messy and inexperienced and fucking desperate. ]

[ Tony was so very sure that this kind of thing was never going to happen, not between him and Steve at least. And as much as the plant might be forcing Steve's biology, the readings that Friday has taken eases his conscience because it isn't clouding his ability to say no.

Steve actually wants this.

Wants Tony.

There is something else on his lips, a question, a warning, but it's gone when Steve leans in and catches him in a kiss that has his shuddering and pressing his fingertips against the blond's hips even harder. Tony doesn't even care how raw it is, how messy and wanton, it's fucking perfect.

Breaking the kiss with a gasp, Tony pulls his hips flush wish Steve's, rocks against him teasingly with a breathless laugh.] Fuck, Steve. That-- yeah. Okay. C'mon...

[ A strangled moan catches in Steve's throat when Tony rocks against him. God, Tony's touch is all he wants right now, his hands and mouth everywhere. His clothes feel stifling, too hot and clinging, and he wants to rip them off. ]

Elevator. [ He manages to get out one word, sliding his hands down to Tony's collar and curling his fingers around it, pulling him in the direction of the elevator. ]

[ Tony's laughter catches on his teeth as he sways against Steve, amusement and want tangled together as they make their way to the elevator. His hands don't stop moving though, one sliding beneath the band of the pants Steve has on , the other tossing the ridiculous sweater to the ground on the way.

As soon as that is out of the way, Tony is rubbing, lightly and teasingly, at Steve's erection.]

Only takes about forty five seconds to get to my suite, so...

[ He smirks, strokes Steve firmly as he kisses him again.]