[Conveniently - depending on your definition of the word convenient - like a cat, he lacks sweat glands, meaning that he doesn't sweat when he runs or works out. He doesn't have to worry about things like body odor, and he doesn't have to shower right afterwards. Not that Tony's exactly fresh after being in the armor for an overseas flight, but that doesn't concern him.]
Better-looking than any can of Spam I've seen, [he quips dryly.] Although if my Spam had hair, I'd be worried.
[He nods in acknowledgment of Tony's question and joins him in walking back to the house.] Does DUM-E get lonely when you're gone? [The robot seems more like a puppy to him than anything else, and he knows a puppy would probably be sad after a day or two alone.] Or does JARVIS keep him company?
[ the armor's weight crushes the cut grass underfoot, so tony steers them toward the driveway. ] God no, [ he huffs. ] That's way outside of DUM-E's directive. [ do you? he'd ask simba if he didn't already guess the answer: that the gion's accustomed to loneliness, so it's fine, even if tony disagrees. ] He's a bit of a Lennie, if you catch my meaning, [ he continues about dum-e.
they haven't discussed simba's long-term goal to be set up in some remote hideaway. tony's goal should, and used to, align with the gion's, but ... there has to be a better solution. he just needs to think of one. ]
[ they round an uphill curve. farther ahead, at the mansion's front doors, the driveway circles around with a large, abstract statue as a centerpiece. the garage entrance is tucked to the side, trailing downward, its outer walls decorated with vines. the entrance is a welcome sight after hours stuck in flight position, but tony's in no hurry. he already feels better simply being home and in present company.
even if (or maybe especially when) said company can be a sarcastic shit ... but with a good heart. ] Sounds to me like you're the one who wants the playmate, [ tony teases back. ]
I have JARVIS to talk to, [he demurs. And now that he actually has ways to pass the time, he doesn't mind the hours of solitude as much. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't notice Tony's absence - even if they spend most of their time apart when Tony's not off performing heroic feats (or just travelling for business), he's gotten used to those brief periods of companionship. He likes having Tony around; lions and humans are both social creatures, and spending time with someone who isn't just a voice in the air feels right. And speaking of spending time together-]
Got any dinner plans? I can throw something together while you shower.
[ cutting off idle thoughts of robot dogs or printing out a body pillow of nala giving her famous bedroom eyes (and definitely not briefly picturing himself in the pillow's stead), tony answers, ] My dinner plans were whatever I can scavenge in five minutes or less, so, yeah. Count me in.
Go on, make yourself presentable. [He stops in front of the main entrance and shoos Tony off towards the garage.] I'll get dinner ready.
[He really needs to figure out some simple side dishes to make, he realizes as he's scrubbing his hands in the sink. Not for himself, but Tony needs more to eat than just meat. He's already got pork chops defrosting - a solid dozen of them - so he sets a couple aside for Tony and starts searing them in the pan, three at a time. He's at least gotten good enough at basic meat preparation that he doesn't need JARVIS to help him out anymore. It's nothing fancy, but he's pretty sure Tony's happy enough to have fresh-cooked food instead of leftovers (not that there are many leftovers in the fridge with him around).]
[ some time later tony announces his reappearance with a low drawl of, ] Wow. Meat. What a surprise, [ and a crooked smile as he passes simba by for the cabinets. hair already dried and styled (it'll just need touch-up in the morning), he wears comfy home clothes: a t-shirt, sneakers, and loose (for him) pants. from a bottom cabinet tony pulls out a bottle of white wine, and from the top, one–no, two glasses. ]
You don't like it, get a rabbit for your roommate.
[The Brooklyn accent is thick for a moment, one of those there and gone things. He sounds amused, though, rather than insulted, and he finishes plating the pork chops as Tony gets the wine and glasses. His plate is more like a platter, piled high with meat, while Tony has a normal-sized plate. He pauses for a moment when going past the fridge and sets his burden down to rummage inside; when he takes the plates over to the table, Tony's has a single (unpeeled, uncut) carrot on it with the meat.]
[ tony's back is to the kitchen as he pours their glasses at the table, so he only sees the carrot once simba sets his plate down. he stares at it, then says to the gion, ] You are so lucky I like you.
[ tony sits down. ] Oh, I'll eat it. [ brandishing the carrot like a pointer stick, he adds, ] But with full complaints to the chef, [ before he snaps off a piece with his teeth. his face scrunches. ]
[ tony quickly swallows and reaches for his glass. ] Points deducted for using the lowest hanging fruit of carrot jokes. [ he practically rinses his mouth with the wine. ]
[He sits down and starts in on his own plate, which is thankfully vegetable-free. With his fork and knife, he's able to cut his meat into pieces and pick them up - even if bite-size for him is still considerably larger than it would be for a normal human.]
I guess I won't be starting that career as a comedian anytime soon.
[ tony follows suit in cutting his meat, albeit into smaller pieces (though still a mouthful for him). ] Sorry to dash your dreams. But there could yet be other opportunities for you out there. [ sounds encouraging. what's the catch? ] Maybe something about physical prowess, like sports, or just ... being a team mascot. [ and there it is with a soft, teasing smirk. thoughtfully to himself: ] Don't the Kings use a cat?
[ "slamson the lion, sir," jarvis chimes in.
without a beat missed tony happily spreads his arms, knife and fork and all, as if to say, "there ya have it. perfect. social integration achieved." not that he's pushing for that. ]
A mascot, [he echoes, and for a moment, he remembers being on stage, feeling powerless to do anything real to help, like nothing more than a- well, a circus animal.
No, it's not something he wants to revisit.]
I'm fine here.
[There's a finality to his tone like that's the end of the discussion.]
[ simba isn't ribbing him back. must've hit a sore spot. ] Yeah, yeah. Your hermit thing. [ tony returns to his plate, but throws out in a sassy mutter, ] Though you exposed yourself to me–a couple times literally–and that hasn't turned out too bad.
[He's under no illusion that Tony would have taken him in without his altruism paving the way first. It's not any judgement of Tony's kindness, but his own outlook on the world and how he expects them to react to someone who's little better than an animal.]
[ a small, secretive smile. ] See? You're great at first impressions, [ tony says and shovels the first bite of pork into his mouth, breaking eye contact. ]
[The way he rolls his eyes at Tony's remark is completely human - but he does that a lot with Tony around. There's just something about Tony that inspires that kind of behavior.
He has to pinch the stem of his wine glass between his thumb and index finger to hold it, and he's still overly cautious about it - tweezing shards of glass out of his hand isn't anyone's idea of a good time. He's been trying harder to drink like a human, but sipping just isn't something he's built for, so he compromises by tipping the glass in a little at a time.]
JARVIS showed me the news footage from your little race.
[ said race turned dire when the pilot's jetpack malfunctioned and careened toward a billboard. iron man saved the day and the pilot, of course, if not the jetpack or the billboard. now, normally tony respects german engineering, and the race began as friendly competition (that he knew he'd win), but when he safely dropped the pilot off in front of the company's owner and the many cameras, disdain laced through his words. "try again. actually... don't. best for everyone involved," he said, and took off. not-so great for building a partnership, but fantastic for PR in the german market. ]
Yeah? What'd you think? [ tony asks offhandedly, watching for simba's reaction. the gion's become one of the people whose opinion actually kinda matters. ]
[But it's said with amusement, maybe even fondness, and it's not like he doesn't know that by now. (It's nothing that isn't immediately apparent when seeing the armor - red and gold isn't exactly subtle.) He wouldn't expect Tony to do anything other than put on a show.]
You knew you were going to win when you went out there. [Although he knows Tony didn't expect the jetpack to malfunction; he wouldn't risk someone else's life like that.] And you got to be a hero in front of everything, so definite bonus. [For Tony, that is.]
-Have other people tried making a suit like yours?
[ tony smiles through his chewing (closed-mouth, he's not an animal–no offense) and pops his eyebrows from over his wine glass, pleased as punch with simba's answer and himself. hero. that's a damn good thing to be called, and even better to actually feel like one. he's making the most of the time yinsen and simba have given him.
must've been hungrier than he thought because even the unpeeled carrot looks appetizing. tony snaps off another piece. ] Tried and failed, maybe, [ he says. except that's not entirely true, now is it? stane and his team built the iron monger, but they stole from tony's design so it doesn't count. they couldn't even power it. ]
[Better you than him, Tony. Being an obligate carnivore means that carrots don't look appetizing at all - he knows there's a time when he ate and enjoyed fruits and vegetables, but now they do nothing for him. (He doesn't mind bread and grains so much, especially when they've been used to soak up juices from the meat. He needs protein as fuel, but can subsist - though not well - with the carbs added to his diet.)
Anyway, Tony looks pleased with himself at being called a hero, as expected. It makes him feel good, too, although he can't quite place why. He cuts another pork chop in half and neatly forks it into his mouth.]
Seems like the kinda thing folks would be all over, [he offers once he's done chewing.] The perfect soldier. [There's a weird sense of deja vu, but he shakes it off.] I know that's not your intention, but-
[But he's worried someone will successfully copy the design eventually. And he doesn't even know why he's worried, except that he doesn't want to see something like that turned against innocent people, which is the sort of thing that will inevitably happen. He closes his eyes for a moment as images of the war flash before his eyes, clenching his free hand into a fist under the table. When the memories recede, he has a splitting headache, and he frowns at the glass of wine. No more for him.]
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Better-looking than any can of Spam I've seen, [he quips dryly.] Although if my Spam had hair, I'd be worried.
[He nods in acknowledgment of Tony's question and joins him in walking back to the house.] Does DUM-E get lonely when you're gone? [The robot seems more like a puppy to him than anything else, and he knows a puppy would probably be sad after a day or two alone.] Or does JARVIS keep him company?
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they haven't discussed simba's long-term goal to be set up in some remote hideaway. tony's goal should, and used to, align with the gion's, but ... there has to be a better solution. he just needs to think of one. ]
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I hope you don't talk about him like that where he can hear you. Think of his self-esteem!
[He's joking, and his fangs show in a flash of white when he smiles.]
I was going to offer to play fetch with him when you're gone, but if he doesn't need the company, then that's fine.
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even if (or maybe especially when) said company can be a sarcastic shit ... but with a good heart. ] Sounds to me like you're the one who wants the playmate, [ tony teases back. ]
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Got any dinner plans? I can throw something together while you shower.
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[He really needs to figure out some simple side dishes to make, he realizes as he's scrubbing his hands in the sink. Not for himself, but Tony needs more to eat than just meat. He's already got pork chops defrosting - a solid dozen of them - so he sets a couple aside for Tony and starts searing them in the pan, three at a time. He's at least gotten good enough at basic meat preparation that he doesn't need JARVIS to help him out anymore. It's nothing fancy, but he's pretty sure Tony's happy enough to have fresh-cooked food instead of leftovers (not that there are many leftovers in the fridge with him around).]
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[The Brooklyn accent is thick for a moment, one of those there and gone things. He sounds amused, though, rather than insulted, and he finishes plating the pork chops as Tony gets the wine and glasses. His plate is more like a platter, piled high with meat, while Tony has a normal-sized plate. He pauses for a moment when going past the fridge and sets his burden down to rummage inside; when he takes the plates over to the table, Tony's has a single (unpeeled, uncut) carrot on it with the meat.]
Better?
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It's a balanced diet, isn't it?
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[He sits down and starts in on his own plate, which is thankfully vegetable-free. With his fork and knife, he's able to cut his meat into pieces and pick them up - even if bite-size for him is still considerably larger than it would be for a normal human.]
I guess I won't be starting that career as a comedian anytime soon.
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[ "slamson the lion, sir," jarvis chimes in.
without a beat missed tony happily spreads his arms, knife and fork and all, as if to say, "there ya have it. perfect. social integration achieved." not that he's pushing for that. ]
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No, it's not something he wants to revisit.]
I'm fine here.
[There's a finality to his tone like that's the end of the discussion.]
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[He's under no illusion that Tony would have taken him in without his altruism paving the way first. It's not any judgement of Tony's kindness, but his own outlook on the world and how he expects them to react to someone who's little better than an animal.]
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He has to pinch the stem of his wine glass between his thumb and index finger to hold it, and he's still overly cautious about it - tweezing shards of glass out of his hand isn't anyone's idea of a good time. He's been trying harder to drink like a human, but sipping just isn't something he's built for, so he compromises by tipping the glass in a little at a time.]
JARVIS showed me the news footage from your little race.
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Yeah? What'd you think? [ tony asks offhandedly, watching for simba's reaction. the gion's become one of the people whose opinion actually kinda matters. ]
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[But it's said with amusement, maybe even fondness, and it's not like he doesn't know that by now. (It's nothing that isn't immediately apparent when seeing the armor - red and gold isn't exactly subtle.) He wouldn't expect Tony to do anything other than put on a show.]
You knew you were going to win when you went out there. [Although he knows Tony didn't expect the jetpack to malfunction; he wouldn't risk someone else's life like that.] And you got to be a hero in front of everything, so definite bonus. [For Tony, that is.]
-Have other people tried making a suit like yours?
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must've been hungrier than he thought because even the unpeeled carrot looks appetizing. tony snaps off another piece. ] Tried and failed, maybe, [ he says. except that's not entirely true, now is it? stane and his team built the iron monger, but they stole from tony's design so it doesn't count. they couldn't even power it. ]
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Anyway, Tony looks pleased with himself at being called a hero, as expected. It makes him feel good, too, although he can't quite place why. He cuts another pork chop in half and neatly forks it into his mouth.]
Seems like the kinda thing folks would be all over, [he offers once he's done chewing.] The perfect soldier. [There's a weird sense of deja vu, but he shakes it off.] I know that's not your intention, but-
[But he's worried someone will successfully copy the design eventually. And he doesn't even know why he's worried, except that he doesn't want to see something like that turned against innocent people, which is the sort of thing that will inevitably happen. He closes his eyes for a moment as images of the war flash before his eyes, clenching his free hand into a fist under the table. When the memories recede, he has a splitting headache, and he frowns at the glass of wine. No more for him.]
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