for amelioraate

[gotup]

[ He hasn't seen Tony since Siberia. Talked to him on the phone once or twice to negotiate their return, yeah, texted a few times, but in person? Nothing. Not that Steve's been allowed to see anyone. He has his own floor in the tower, and everyone's being very careful to say that none of them are prisoners, but guess what? They're prisoners.

To be fair, it's a nice prison, with pretty much every cable channel invented by man, high-speed internet, the works. His food's delivered - possibly by a robot, Steve isn't really sure, it just sort of shows up in the fridge and all he has to do is microwave it, and he suspects that robots do everything around here because he sure hasn't seen a human being.

(He hasn't seen any robots, either, apart from the little vacuum robot, and it's a sign of how desperate he is that he's starting to think of it like a pet. Especially when it gets confused and runs into the wall repeatedly.

Yeah, Steve's pretty sure he's cracking up.)

All of his negotiations are conducted via terse emails with various government officials, who a) are incensed that he refuses to sign the Accords (he read them, okay? it's not just turning control of the Avengers over to a UN panel) and b) can't believe that he isn't even remotely apologetic for everything he's done, won't even try to deny that he did it. He's glad Bucky's untouchable back in Wakanda, safely tucked away in one of T'challa's cryogenic pods. He has the king's word that nothing will happen to him, and from what Steve's seen, T'challa would rather die than break his word.

Steve's starting to wish he was back there, too. He'd mainly come back to try and repair things with Tony - to fix everything, but it's his splintered friendship that hurts the most - but Tony won't even come near him. He doesn't blame him, figures it's exactly what he deserves. Tony can keep the shield and the costume; they don't matter to him. They were only ever just a symbol. They'd started life as propaganda, and they can end that way. He just wants to be Steve Rogers, but he's not even sure he'll be allowed that much. ]

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[gotup]

[ Steve knows it too, but right now he can't even remember the last time he had honest to god human contact and Tony is a warm weight on his chest that feels kind of comforting. It's confusing if he tries to think about it too hard, so he just doesn't, closes his eyes and relaxes, even though all his muscles are so tense that they probably feel like they're still frozen in ice.

(Sometimes Steve feels like he's still frozen in ice, too.) ]

You wouldn't know what to do if you weren't being a smartass.

[ Fall to pieces, apparently, if his display earlier is any indication. ]

[amelioraate]

[ It is a little strange if he thinks about it, how he has gone from half wanting to punch Steve to being pressed up against his side and-- fuck, he should move. He should leave, this was such a dumb idea and yet-- yet he can't seem to make himself get up and leave right now. And not just because Steve was warm and comfortable and very much there after spending so long with just metal and robots, but-- it was like he wanted Tony there and that was not something that the genius expected.

Tony can feel Steve speaking, can feel the rumble in his chest, notes how Steve still seems a little high strung around the edges like he doesn't know how to let go of the tension and Tony gets that. But he doesn't know how to help Steve, so he just-- breathes deep and melts a little more against the blond.

He could always claim temporary insanity and drunkenness tomorrow.]

That is the core of who I am, yes. So being a smartass or blowing shit up, take your pick.

[gotup]

[ Steve's actually starting to feel drowsy, and some deeply buried part of him wonders how much Tony would resist if he just picked him up and carried him to bed. Except then he'd startle and run away (or get the wrong idea entirely), so it's probably best to just stay here. ]

I think that's probably an and, Tony. Not an or.

[ What he's really thinking is that Tony uses the sharp edge of his words to keep people at bay, that it's just another one of the masks he wears, one of the walls. That he wants to see the real Tony, but he knows the other man is too vulnerable, too afraid to ever do that. That he might have, once, before everything fell apart, but now things are different.

His words are starting to slur together a little, and maybe if he just lets his eyes close for a moment- ]

[amelioraate]

[ There is a look cast sideways to the blond, Tony somewhat curious and maybe a little confused as how easily Steve seems to let his guard down around him. How he seems okay just-- sitting here with Tony half on top of him, after sobbing at him and... what the fuck was even going on. But Tony is finding it hard to think, the fog of too little sleep and too much alcohol and Steve's warmth settling into his bones so he just... goes with it.

When Steve speaks of both, Tony does the only thing that comes to mind, he turns his head just a little and bites Steve.]

The two are not mutually inclusive.

[ He tires for sounding standoffish, but it falls a little short. There is a moment, or three, where Tony just stays there against the blond. Lets the sound of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest lull him into a trance like state before her jerks out of with a twitch. Tony shakes his head and sits up.]

Uh...I should...go. Steve? [ Tony blinks, realizing that the blond is actually sleeping and... oh... ]

[gotup]

[ Steve is out cold for once, and his head tips slightly till his chin is resting against the top of Tony's head. He stays that way for a solid few hours, holding Tony close to his chest. ]