gotup | for amelioraate

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v: murder puppies

for amelioraate

[ HYDRA, as it turned out, had been working on other biological projects, which Steve had discovered one night late in the war when he infiltrated a small outpost and found a number of wolves. At first, he'd thought they had just been exceptionally resilient animal specimens - he'd had to set the house on fire and trap them inside to escape after he'd run out of ammunition.

When the full moon came, he discovered that they hadn't just been wolves, they had been werewolves. He turned into a beast, ran through the forest, and when dawn came, he found himself miles from camp, naked on a bed of pine needles.

(That had been a little awkward.)

A few months later, he'd gone under the ice, and nothing mattered anymore.

Fast-forward a good few decades, and Steve's out of the ice and managing his furry little problem the best he can. Which is to say, he disappears once a month and hope nobody notices. That hasn't been a problem till now. He's ostensibly under house arrest in Stark Tower, and, okay, he knows Tony won't care if he leaves, won't tell the government that he's suddenly disappeared. But that doesn't mean he's not paranoid about it.

There's really nothing he can do, though. Sure, he could probably spend the full moon curled up in his room, but he knows Tony has cameras in there to monitor him (doesn't blame him for it), and that's obviously a problem. He'll just have to suck it up and sneak out.

He's pretty sure Tony's preoccupied with something - a meeting, genius Tony things, whatever - when he casually strolls out of the tower before sunset in a hoodie, baseball cap tucked under his arm. Once he's safely out of view, he puts the baseball cap on, pulls up the hood - he can't wear sunglasses right now, that would just look weird. It's not far to the park, but he can feel the tug of the moon in his bones, and it makes him walk a little faster.

Steve wishes he would've had a chance to scope out the park ahead of time; right now, he just has to strip down and hope to god nobody steals his clothes as he stashes them deep in a copse of trees. And then- then the change hits, twisting his bones, reforming his body. It feels like the serum did every time, hurts like hell, but soon enough he's on four legs.

The wolf in him misses the jungles of Wakanda; they'd been hot, but wild, full of animals to hunt. The city isn't the same, not when the park isn't big enough to really run through, not when the biggest animals in the bushes are squirrels and rabbits. It feels distinctly unsatisfying; he wants to hunt, to feel the exhilaration as he brings down his prey, the hot blood on his tongue. As he thinks about it, there's a rustle in the underbrush behind him, and without thinking, he tenses his muscles and leaps. ]

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[ you absolute--

Tony huffs, a small thing as he tries to hide a twitch of a smile at the tone of Steve's voice. he wants to shift, to find a way to break the hold that Steve has on him but also--

well he also enjoys this. the physical reassurance that he gets from Steve keeping him here, uttering that truth about wanting him, no matter what it seems to mean.

he still manages to sound slightly put out though, voice rough when he speaks.] Captain America might not, but Steve Rogers would be open to whatever avenues might assure a win. It's why I like him more.

[Of course Steve knows that Tony wants him, the man behind the suit, and not just Captain America - but Tony isn't the only one who benefits from verbal reassurance sometimes. And if that means a fight turns into cuddling, well, that's the sort of thing that just happens.

He lets Tony's arm go, tucks his chin into the crook where his neck and shoulder meet, and just sighs contentedly. He really had meant to spar, but this is definitely better.]

Steve Rogers is kind of an asshole. Though, it has to be said, not as much of an asshole as Captain America.

He is a brilliant asshole though, so that makes up for it. Though Captain America does look great in tights.

[ there is laughter on his lips as he shifts in Steve's grasp as his arm is released. he thinks about moving more, but then there is a chin in his shoulder and-- yeah, okay. this is nice.

Tony hums in contentment, all the coiled agitation from earlier slipping away, burned by the warmth of Steve's skin through layers of fabric. well if Steve has no qualms about being wold-married to him, then Tony isn't going to fight him on it.]

You know this has a myth attached to it where there is like a feedback loop between mates? [ the words are laced with amusement. ] Like, because you bit me, which the back of the neck is like a claiming thing by the way, very caveman I like it, there is potential for weird bonding shit. Granted the sources on line about werewolves are less scholastic than the ones for wolves, so...

I hate tights.

[It's grumbled into the skin of Tony's neck, although there's a couple of kisses mixed in there, too. Yeah, he's still a little pissy about having to wear tights while he toured with the USO girls, and in all those old movies (he's pretty sure Tony owns copies of all of them).]

Yeah, I can tell they're less scholastic by the use of the term "weird bonding shit". And because no sane scholar would actually spend their time researching werewolves. [A pause as he tugs Tony's shirt free from his pants, his hand settling on his stomach.] What kind of weird bonding shit?

Mmmm, but they don't hate you.

[ and maybe Tony is shaking with laughter a little bit at the petulance in Steve's tone, even as he shimmies a little to make sure he was comfortable. (and of course Tony has those movies, what kind of person do you think he is?)]

Hey, I was paraphrasing! It is totally an academic term okay, but, uh, yeah. Not very many 'legit' werewolf researchers out there. I could make quite a name for myself if I wanted to. [ there is a shiver at the hand on his stomach, the touch almost amplified and, well, that was a thing. ] Uh-- like near psychic stuff. Mostly emotional transference from what I got. Echoes of the bonded mate's feelings and being more intuitive.

[ being stupidly possessive of the other and irrationally so wasn't a thing that Tony wanted to bring up just yet; he was possessive enough as it was. ]

Pervert.

[But his tone is fond, even if he's pretty sure Tony watched old footage of him just to stare at his ass and/or junk. If he wants to squint at grainy black and white filmstrips, that's his problem.]

I, uh. I didn't really know werewolves were a big thing, honestly. Outside of movies and- you know. Urban legends. I just figured HYDRA figured out some way to make them.

[He's wrong, of course.]

Am not! I merely appreciate the finer things in life. And your ass is one of those things.

[ don't give him that. he has them for nostalgia now that he can stare at the real thing. wow.]

I get the feeling that there are probably more werewolves out there, they just can't be like 'oh hi, I change into a wolf', every myth starts somewhere, right? But I suppose it would make sense, just-- maybe take not of things?

You probably think I'm an idiot for not really knowing anything about this.

[Honestly, he hasn't needed to know anything, or so he'd always figured. He's just gone by gut instinct and a lot of guesswork. Trust Tony to actually research things. Next he'll probably start experimenting on himself. He's already been talking about wolf armor - and god knows nobody needs Tony flying around like an idiot when he's a wolf.

(There might be an undercurrent of something else to that sentiment. Tony isn't the only one who can be insecure, he's just more open about it.)]

Mmmm, no not really. You had a whole hell of a lot of other more important shit to deal with at the time I am sure. And hey, it works out. Now you have me to deal with all the fun research shit.

[ there is a pleased hum and Tony turns a little more into Steve, contentment in every bone.]

Just-- well yeah, pay attention to your moods? My moods? Our moods? Because apparently, we might, uh... feed each other things?

Like the war, you mean?

[He laughs, a little wryly. But Tony's right, he's more than happy to let the other man research his heart out.

(Steve has sort of figured out the feedback loop already, mostly thanks to Tony being, well, Tony. But he's not going to mention that.)]

I feel like there's a way you would probably use that for your own evil purposes.

Mmm yeah, like that.

[ his smile turns a little lazy, even as he laughs at the thought he would use the mood feedback for evil. (which he wouldn't. not on purpose at least?

hopefully?]

Why Steve, I am horrified you think that! I would never. But-- I do apologise if you get stressed for no reason?

Mmn. I can tell the difference.

[Between Tony's feelings and his own. It's something he'd worked out gradually, part of figuring out that the anxiety came from outside in the first place. And maybe it's a skill he's taken advantage of to know when something's wrong and soothe Tony before he gets too worked up, but, honestly, it's just what he feels he should do.]

You gonna make us rings or something?

Can you? I haven't been paying enough attention the, I might have to look into that. Run some tests and such...

[ he tips his head to the side, the beginnings of a teasing look on his face. a look that freezes the morphs quickly into shock and awe and--

what.

Tony stills in Steve's hold, and he doesn't know what he is feeling for a moment. hope, yes. joy and--]

Would you-- I mean, do you want rings?

[ damn right he will make them rings. he just has an inkling of fear, irrational but persistent, that Steve is joking. that he doesn't mean it.]

[Steve can feel the fear buried beneath the happiness, and for a moment, it just makes him sad, that Tony thinks someone might play with him like that. Sure, he'd said it in a teasing sort of tone, but he's absolutely serious. If nothing else, it's good for his possessive side, the little voice in him that wants to make sure everyone knows that Tony is his.

-And, well, he does love Tony. So there's nothing wrong with displaying that, right? He might be a bit uncertain about the act of marriage itself (he doesn't know why, it's not like he isn't committed to Tony), but that doesn't make them any less of a couple. It might in the eyes of the priests he grew up with, but he's pretty sure they wouldn't approve of two men being together anyway.]

No Iron Man insignia or anything. [He kisses Tony's chin.] Or stars and stripes.

[ if he was paying attention, Tony might notice the pang of mine that echoes through him, something faint but there, however he is too wrapped up in the happiness and tumble of emotions that even he can't navigate becase Steve wants rings.

there is bright laughter on his lips before he can think about it, Tony shifting enough to stare into Steve's eyes and press a kiss to his lips.]

I'm ostentatious and privileged, Steve, not tacky. [ a moment before, quietly:] You really do want me, don't you.

[ there is awe in his voice. not because he thought Steve to be lying but because he never thought that Steve would honestly want to be bound to Tony that way. ]

[Steve blinks as he realizes that- oh. He's never actually told Tony what he thought he'd made obvious, and maybe he needs to hear the words to know they're true, know what Steve feels deep in his bones.]

I love you, Tony.

[Look, the prospect of saying things like that is really scary, okay? Steve might not be as afraid of rejection as Tony is, but it's still the sort of thing you worry about saying to someone you tried to kill not even six months ago (and sort of almost accidentally killed a couple months ago) and Steve, in his mind, is still just some skinny kid from Brooklyn nobody was ever remotely interested in. Add that to the fact that he's truly terrible at talking about feelings, and, yeah, it's not really surprising he hasn't said it before.]

[ if Tony thought that he was floored before, he might have to reconsider that assessment because when Steve drops those words with an honesty that shakes Tony's bones, he isn't sure he can breathe.

there is no doubting the honesty in the words, not with the bond on the way Tony can feel how much Steve means what he is saying. so he shakes for a moment in Steve's arms before he turns and moves so that he can be nose to nose with the blond, fingers threaded into his hair on either side of his head. for a moment, Tony just breathes, lets himself feel the truth through the bond (and he can notice it, if he pays attention), search Steve's eyes with his own as the smile grows on his face.

when he finally speaks, his lips brush against Steve's, words soft but true:] Love you too, Steve. God, it feels so good to say that...

[ his smile is lost as he kisses Steve, deep and happy and whole.]

[Tony's love feels like basking in a pool of sunlight, and it finally chases the last of the ice from Steve's veins. Maybe it's not something he would have considered saying a few months ago, but he knows now that he's felt this way about Tony for a long time, even while they were fighting (especially while they were fighting). And, what's more, he knows how Tony feels about him, and he's still a little amazed by that.

So he melts into the kiss, reaches one hand up to run his fingers through Tony's hair. It's the happiest he's ever seen Tony, and Steve can't quite believe that he's the cause of it. For as long as he can remember, Tony's been burdened by one thing or another, but this is pure, without any complications.]

Can't say I feel too guilty about ripping your throat out anymore. [It's murmured against his lips when they finally break for air, punctuated by a soft laugh.]

[ it isn't often that Tony feels like he isn't going to have whatever good thing has been handed to him ripped away from him in an instance; so this thing with Steve is amazing. sure there are still fears that lurk beneath the surface but, over all...

Tony sinks into the feeling, hums at the hands in his hair and trembles with the weight of his feelings. when Steve pulls back, Tony nips at his lips and laughs.]

Seriously? That's what you have to say to this? I mean, not too upset about it either, but I haven't been for a while.

Look, when you nearly kill someone, there's bound to be some residual guilt over it, okay?

[But in the end, it's kind of fortuitous. Steve doesn't know if they ever would have come together without it, or if things would be as right as they are now. Maybe he would've been driven to find another werewolf to mate with, one who wasn't Tony. (He can't imagine being with anyone else now.)]

Maybe we oughta head back upstairs.

[You know, in the general direction of a bed. For better cuddling, and also because they're inevitably going to end up having sex. Not that Steve's averse to having sex right here - he'd already been thinking about it earlier - but since they aren't going to end up desperately humping each other, he'll opt for the comfort of a bed instead.

(Yeah, he's old.)]

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