for podchinyatsya

[gotup]

[ Steve doesn't make a habit of things like Googling himself (which sounds dirty, honestly) or checking his Wikipedia page. After all, he already knows about himself; he doesn't need to check up on the facts.

Except then one day, Sam asks him about the Yankees. And he knows Sam's aware that he doesn't like the Yankees; they've watched enough baseball together (even though Sam's a Mets fan). He gives Sam a funny look, and the other man laughs and shakes his head.

The next day, Wanda asks him why he always says he's just a kid from Brooklyn. He's obviously from Queens, doesn't he know that? What's the difference between the two? Is he sure he wasn't born somewhere else?

The day after that, T'Challa, of all people, asks him if it's true that his tears can be used to summon bald eagles. 'One of the Dora Milaje read it online,' is his excuse, but Steve's pretty sure he's just using his bodyguards as convenient scapegoats to save face.

He grabs his phone and types a search 'steve rogers tears bald eagles' and the first result (after about twenty shitty Photoshops) is Wikipedia.

Wikipedia! He'd taken the site's information as gospel truth, and so his first assumption is that someone must have hacked it. And, of course, there's only one person with the technological know-how to do that. ]

Bucky! [ He looks up from his phone, a crease of distress between his eyebrows. ] Tony's hacked Wikipedia, you oughta see the stuff it says about me.

Comments

[podchinyatsya]

I gotta go easy on your sorry ass.

[ He shifts, starting to roll away, and...

oh.

Well, he doesn't remember that happening last time. ]

Ahem.

[gotup]

[ Really, Bucky? Can't you just be a pal and not bring the elephant in the room up? Steve blushes, his cheeks and ears turning a bright red, and it creeps down his neck and under his shirt. Looks away from Bucky, because how are you supposed to explain away getting a hard-on while wrestling with your best friend?

Maybe he'll just go find a panther in the jungle and pick a fight with it, because this is the only way to save him from a life of embarrassment. ]

I'll just. Go hit the shower.

[podchinyatsya]

[ Okay, they both grew up and had that hormonal-teen phase. So Steve's wasn't the kind that made his voice drop and shoot up a few inches? The science handled that later. ]

Just make sure you turn the water on cold!

[ He jabs Steve in the side.

NO HARD FEELINGS, BRO.

(NOT THAT KIND OF HARD)

(BRO) ]

[gotup]

Jesus Christ, Bucky.

[ His voice is muffled as he covers his face with a hand. WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS WHY. CAN THE GROUND PLEASE OPEN AND SWALLOW HIM UP. ]

[podchinyatsya]

[ He's just going to start laughing again! THIS IS HILARIOUS. ]

[gotup]

This is a bad dream, right? In a few moments, I'm gonna wake up in my bed and everything will be totally normal.

[ As normal as you can get when you're a ninety-eight year old superhero and your best friend is a brainwashed ex-assassin who is definitely not laughing at your awkward boner. ]

[podchinyatsya]

No way, pal. You skipped the best parts of puberty. I'm gonna watch you squirm.

[gotup]

[ Who says he did? Bucky just never noticed them before - wasn't the cause of them before. But Steve just groans. ]

Come on, I only did it to you once or twice.

[ Although his memory may be slightly faulty but not as faulty as Bucky's ]

[podchinyatsya]

[ that is a CHEAP SHOT

Bucky is done having his moment. Seriously. ]

But seriously, you ok?

[ All that brooding earlier. ]

[gotup]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[ Of course, according to Steve, he's always fine. So he might not be the most reliable source here. Even when he's not fine, all he wants to do is pretend that he is. Especially in front of Bucky. It had been a mistake earlier, slipping into one of his bitter moments, one that he doesn't want to repeat.

And he sure as hell isnt wrestling with him again, either. ]

[podchinyatsya]

[ Bucky lifts an eyebrow. ]

I'll pretend you mean that for now.

[ At least so he can function and go get himself back together. ]

[gotup]

Well, you know. Those bald eagles would have a hell of a flight to Wakanda, so I gotta hold it together for them.

[ He tilts his head, grins at Bucky. Still a little red in the face, but at least he can meet his eyes again. ]

[podchinyatsya]

[ Bucky will take that answer... until later. When he'll check in on Steve in his own, subtle spy way. ]

That's so noble I think I cried beer.

[gotup]

Hold on, I'll get a bottle to catch it. No sense in wasting perfectly good beer.

[ Not now that he can actually drink it without puking all over his shoes after one drink, anyway. ]

[podchinyatsya]

That's gross, Steve.

[ Drinking someone else's tears. ]

[gotup]

Hey, look, you're the one crying beer. It's not like I'm licking it from your face or anything.

[ what are you even talking about, Steve? ]

[podchinyatsya]

...Don't make me whack you again.

[gotup]

It's not a matter of whether you will, it's a matter of when.

[podchinyatsya]

[ Ain't that the truth. ]

Got me there.

[gotup]

Hey, you gonna change my Wikipedia page back? I don't want one of T'Challa's bodyguards trying to make me cry cause she wants to see a bald eagle. They could probably all do it, too.

[ Plus this blasphemy about the Yankees. That's the most important part. ]

[podchinyatsya]

[ He smiles, a bright, warm thing. ]

Yes, Steve, I'll change it back. Even though I'd pay good money to see one of those ladies bend you in half til a flock of bald eagles swooped in.

[gotup]

[ The smile reminds him of before. Before all this shit happened, before they became who they are now. It simultaneously warms him and makes his heart ache a little. ]

Some pal you are. [ He huffs, pushing himself back up into a sitting position. ] You'd probably put that on Youtube, too.

[podchinyatsya]

Damn skippy. I'd call CNN.

[ He nudges Steve playfully on the shoulder.

He wouldn't call CNN.




Probably. ]

[gotup]

I'm gonna put an ad in the paper looking for new best friends.

[ It's a good-natured grumble, and Steve doesn't really mean it. Probably. ]

[podchinyatsya]

You need to get with the times. People use Craigslist now.

[ He's gonna pretend that grumble didn't hurt just a little. ]