gotup | for amelioraate

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v: murder puppies

for amelioraate

[ HYDRA, as it turned out, had been working on other biological projects, which Steve had discovered one night late in the war when he infiltrated a small outpost and found a number of wolves. At first, he'd thought they had just been exceptionally resilient animal specimens - he'd had to set the house on fire and trap them inside to escape after he'd run out of ammunition.

When the full moon came, he discovered that they hadn't just been wolves, they had been werewolves. He turned into a beast, ran through the forest, and when dawn came, he found himself miles from camp, naked on a bed of pine needles.

(That had been a little awkward.)

A few months later, he'd gone under the ice, and nothing mattered anymore.

Fast-forward a good few decades, and Steve's out of the ice and managing his furry little problem the best he can. Which is to say, he disappears once a month and hope nobody notices. That hasn't been a problem till now. He's ostensibly under house arrest in Stark Tower, and, okay, he knows Tony won't care if he leaves, won't tell the government that he's suddenly disappeared. But that doesn't mean he's not paranoid about it.

There's really nothing he can do, though. Sure, he could probably spend the full moon curled up in his room, but he knows Tony has cameras in there to monitor him (doesn't blame him for it), and that's obviously a problem. He'll just have to suck it up and sneak out.

He's pretty sure Tony's preoccupied with something - a meeting, genius Tony things, whatever - when he casually strolls out of the tower before sunset in a hoodie, baseball cap tucked under his arm. Once he's safely out of view, he puts the baseball cap on, pulls up the hood - he can't wear sunglasses right now, that would just look weird. It's not far to the park, but he can feel the tug of the moon in his bones, and it makes him walk a little faster.

Steve wishes he would've had a chance to scope out the park ahead of time; right now, he just has to strip down and hope to god nobody steals his clothes as he stashes them deep in a copse of trees. And then- then the change hits, twisting his bones, reforming his body. It feels like the serum did every time, hurts like hell, but soon enough he's on four legs.

The wolf in him misses the jungles of Wakanda; they'd been hot, but wild, full of animals to hunt. The city isn't the same, not when the park isn't big enough to really run through, not when the biggest animals in the bushes are squirrels and rabbits. It feels distinctly unsatisfying; he wants to hunt, to feel the exhilaration as he brings down his prey, the hot blood on his tongue. As he thinks about it, there's a rustle in the underbrush behind him, and without thinking, he tenses his muscles and leaps. ]

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[It hadn't taken Pepper long to realize that the best way to manage Tony was through Steve. And Steve likes Pepper, always has, so it seems simple enough for him to go along with her (besides, Tony needs to be managed, and it's more than he can do by himself). Which means that, when it comes down to it, she's probably the real alpha around here.]

Take your jacket and shoes off. Socks, too.

[Steve keeps stretching, almost lazy in his movements, waiting for Tony to catch up.]

[ the most annoying part of all this is Tony just listens. he glares at Steve the whole time, something like frustration and worry tangled up in the look, but he does it. toes off his shoes and socks with ease as he drops off his suit jacket and removes his tie.

there is a part of him that wants to shake Steve because, why is he okay with this? this is not a good thing for him, jesus--

and yet...]

Steve! I swear, you are not listening. This is--

[ this is what. it's great for Tony, he isn't really upset about this for himself, he feels like this has somehow screwed Steve over. ]

I always listen to what you say, Tony.

[Does he heed it? Maybe not, but he damn well listens. He grins as Tony removes his jacket and tie, and once he's done, Steve drops into a familiar defensive stance, weight on the balls of his feet, his entire world narrowing as he focuses on Tony.]

C'mon. [He makes a small gesture. He'll let Tony start off on the offensive, work some of that energy out.]

Sure you are. I can tell, with the amount of freaking out you are doing that you are basically married to me.

[ god damnit, you shit.

Tony growls at the gesture, sliding into offence easily enough. between one beat and the next, Tony is launching forward, trying to close the gap and bring a knee to Steve's ribs. he doesn't necessarily want to hurt Steve but-- he is wound tight and just a little annoyed on Steve's behalf and--]

You fucking-- [ Tony ducks low, aims for Steve's knees ] deserve better, Steve.

[Pretty sure you're freaking out enough for the both of us, Steve thinks, but has enough sense to not say it. Honestly, there's a feeling of rightness in his bones when he thinks about being with Tony. He doesn't question it, because it's the most solid goddamn feeling he's had in a long time, because the certainty of it makes him feel good.

He dodges Tony's moves with ease, hooks a leg around him and floors him.]

Mm. Maybe if you stop being so sloppy. I saw that coming a mile away.

[There's just a cheeky grin at Tony as he lets the other man get back up.]

[ Steve doesn't have to say it, Tony gets that message clear enough with the look on his face. it makes Tony's hackles rise.

it has nothing to do with not wanting to be with Steve, not even a little, the blond is everything that Tony wants in life to be honest, and-- he just doesn't want to be here because Steve made a spur of the moment choice. that, the thought that Steve could not want him voluntarily, hurts far more than he wants it to.

more than him hitting the ground at least.]

So what, you're just-- okay with being wolf-married to me?

[please say yes please say yes please-- Tony doesn't wait to lock his legs around one of Steve's, still on the floor, to try and push him off balance.]

[Steve falls, but it's a controlled fall, entirely deliberate as he wraps arms and legs around Tony and switches to wrestling with him. Legs tangle together as Steve puts him in an arm lock, and, okay, maybe he has an ulterior motive with this whole fighting thing.]

Wolf-married.

[There's a huff of a warm laugh against Tony's neck. It's a ridiculous phrase - and part of his brain skitters away from the m-word, but...well. It's not inaccurate.]

Yes, Tony, I want you.

[It's murmured in his ear, because as tempted as he is to retort with some smart-ass comment, Steve knows this isn't the time for verbal fencing, that Tony needs his reassurance more than anything else right now. He nips his ear, twists an arm behind his back.]

[ it really is no surprise to Tony at all that Steve manages to fall gracefully, and then manages to get him into an arm lock. it would be infuriating if it wasn't also strangely comforting to have the solid press of Steve there, the touch doing wonders to calm his skittering thoughts.

still, Tony doesn't stop struggling. tries to get leverage to twist and--

oh

the words 'I want you' make Tony still, a shudder running through him at the words and the nip of his ear. it's enough of a falter that Steve comes up against no resistance when he twists Tony's arm, though that does spur him to move.]

That's cheating and you know it...

Is it?

[Steve sounds totally innocent, but pressed together like they are, it's not hard to catch the lie. Yeah, he's kind of an asshole sometimes.]

Would Captain America cheat in a fight, Tony?

[He holds them both still for a moment, just enjoying the contact, the feeling of Tony's body against his, the sound of his breath as his chest rises and falls. Absolute stillness is hard to come by with Tony around, and he has to treasure the moment.]

[ you absolute--

Tony huffs, a small thing as he tries to hide a twitch of a smile at the tone of Steve's voice. he wants to shift, to find a way to break the hold that Steve has on him but also--

well he also enjoys this. the physical reassurance that he gets from Steve keeping him here, uttering that truth about wanting him, no matter what it seems to mean.

he still manages to sound slightly put out though, voice rough when he speaks.] Captain America might not, but Steve Rogers would be open to whatever avenues might assure a win. It's why I like him more.

[Of course Steve knows that Tony wants him, the man behind the suit, and not just Captain America - but Tony isn't the only one who benefits from verbal reassurance sometimes. And if that means a fight turns into cuddling, well, that's the sort of thing that just happens.

He lets Tony's arm go, tucks his chin into the crook where his neck and shoulder meet, and just sighs contentedly. He really had meant to spar, but this is definitely better.]

Steve Rogers is kind of an asshole. Though, it has to be said, not as much of an asshole as Captain America.

He is a brilliant asshole though, so that makes up for it. Though Captain America does look great in tights.

[ there is laughter on his lips as he shifts in Steve's grasp as his arm is released. he thinks about moving more, but then there is a chin in his shoulder and-- yeah, okay. this is nice.

Tony hums in contentment, all the coiled agitation from earlier slipping away, burned by the warmth of Steve's skin through layers of fabric. well if Steve has no qualms about being wold-married to him, then Tony isn't going to fight him on it.]

You know this has a myth attached to it where there is like a feedback loop between mates? [ the words are laced with amusement. ] Like, because you bit me, which the back of the neck is like a claiming thing by the way, very caveman I like it, there is potential for weird bonding shit. Granted the sources on line about werewolves are less scholastic than the ones for wolves, so...

I hate tights.

[It's grumbled into the skin of Tony's neck, although there's a couple of kisses mixed in there, too. Yeah, he's still a little pissy about having to wear tights while he toured with the USO girls, and in all those old movies (he's pretty sure Tony owns copies of all of them).]

Yeah, I can tell they're less scholastic by the use of the term "weird bonding shit". And because no sane scholar would actually spend their time researching werewolves. [A pause as he tugs Tony's shirt free from his pants, his hand settling on his stomach.] What kind of weird bonding shit?

Mmmm, but they don't hate you.

[ and maybe Tony is shaking with laughter a little bit at the petulance in Steve's tone, even as he shimmies a little to make sure he was comfortable. (and of course Tony has those movies, what kind of person do you think he is?)]

Hey, I was paraphrasing! It is totally an academic term okay, but, uh, yeah. Not very many 'legit' werewolf researchers out there. I could make quite a name for myself if I wanted to. [ there is a shiver at the hand on his stomach, the touch almost amplified and, well, that was a thing. ] Uh-- like near psychic stuff. Mostly emotional transference from what I got. Echoes of the bonded mate's feelings and being more intuitive.

[ being stupidly possessive of the other and irrationally so wasn't a thing that Tony wanted to bring up just yet; he was possessive enough as it was. ]

Pervert.

[But his tone is fond, even if he's pretty sure Tony watched old footage of him just to stare at his ass and/or junk. If he wants to squint at grainy black and white filmstrips, that's his problem.]

I, uh. I didn't really know werewolves were a big thing, honestly. Outside of movies and- you know. Urban legends. I just figured HYDRA figured out some way to make them.

[He's wrong, of course.]

Am not! I merely appreciate the finer things in life. And your ass is one of those things.

[ don't give him that. he has them for nostalgia now that he can stare at the real thing. wow.]

I get the feeling that there are probably more werewolves out there, they just can't be like 'oh hi, I change into a wolf', every myth starts somewhere, right? But I suppose it would make sense, just-- maybe take not of things?

You probably think I'm an idiot for not really knowing anything about this.

[Honestly, he hasn't needed to know anything, or so he'd always figured. He's just gone by gut instinct and a lot of guesswork. Trust Tony to actually research things. Next he'll probably start experimenting on himself. He's already been talking about wolf armor - and god knows nobody needs Tony flying around like an idiot when he's a wolf.

(There might be an undercurrent of something else to that sentiment. Tony isn't the only one who can be insecure, he's just more open about it.)]

Mmmm, no not really. You had a whole hell of a lot of other more important shit to deal with at the time I am sure. And hey, it works out. Now you have me to deal with all the fun research shit.

[ there is a pleased hum and Tony turns a little more into Steve, contentment in every bone.]

Just-- well yeah, pay attention to your moods? My moods? Our moods? Because apparently, we might, uh... feed each other things?

Like the war, you mean?

[He laughs, a little wryly. But Tony's right, he's more than happy to let the other man research his heart out.

(Steve has sort of figured out the feedback loop already, mostly thanks to Tony being, well, Tony. But he's not going to mention that.)]

I feel like there's a way you would probably use that for your own evil purposes.

Mmm yeah, like that.

[ his smile turns a little lazy, even as he laughs at the thought he would use the mood feedback for evil. (which he wouldn't. not on purpose at least?

hopefully?]

Why Steve, I am horrified you think that! I would never. But-- I do apologise if you get stressed for no reason?

Mmn. I can tell the difference.

[Between Tony's feelings and his own. It's something he'd worked out gradually, part of figuring out that the anxiety came from outside in the first place. And maybe it's a skill he's taken advantage of to know when something's wrong and soothe Tony before he gets too worked up, but, honestly, it's just what he feels he should do.]

You gonna make us rings or something?

Can you? I haven't been paying enough attention the, I might have to look into that. Run some tests and such...

[ he tips his head to the side, the beginnings of a teasing look on his face. a look that freezes the morphs quickly into shock and awe and--

what.

Tony stills in Steve's hold, and he doesn't know what he is feeling for a moment. hope, yes. joy and--]

Would you-- I mean, do you want rings?

[ damn right he will make them rings. he just has an inkling of fear, irrational but persistent, that Steve is joking. that he doesn't mean it.]

[Steve can feel the fear buried beneath the happiness, and for a moment, it just makes him sad, that Tony thinks someone might play with him like that. Sure, he'd said it in a teasing sort of tone, but he's absolutely serious. If nothing else, it's good for his possessive side, the little voice in him that wants to make sure everyone knows that Tony is his.

-And, well, he does love Tony. So there's nothing wrong with displaying that, right? He might be a bit uncertain about the act of marriage itself (he doesn't know why, it's not like he isn't committed to Tony), but that doesn't make them any less of a couple. It might in the eyes of the priests he grew up with, but he's pretty sure they wouldn't approve of two men being together anyway.]

No Iron Man insignia or anything. [He kisses Tony's chin.] Or stars and stripes.

[ if he was paying attention, Tony might notice the pang of mine that echoes through him, something faint but there, however he is too wrapped up in the happiness and tumble of emotions that even he can't navigate becase Steve wants rings.

there is bright laughter on his lips before he can think about it, Tony shifting enough to stare into Steve's eyes and press a kiss to his lips.]

I'm ostentatious and privileged, Steve, not tacky. [ a moment before, quietly:] You really do want me, don't you.

[ there is awe in his voice. not because he thought Steve to be lying but because he never thought that Steve would honestly want to be bound to Tony that way. ]

[Steve blinks as he realizes that- oh. He's never actually told Tony what he thought he'd made obvious, and maybe he needs to hear the words to know they're true, know what Steve feels deep in his bones.]

I love you, Tony.

[Look, the prospect of saying things like that is really scary, okay? Steve might not be as afraid of rejection as Tony is, but it's still the sort of thing you worry about saying to someone you tried to kill not even six months ago (and sort of almost accidentally killed a couple months ago) and Steve, in his mind, is still just some skinny kid from Brooklyn nobody was ever remotely interested in. Add that to the fact that he's truly terrible at talking about feelings, and, yeah, it's not really surprising he hasn't said it before.]

for amelioraate

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